


Take Me Away

by DirtyLilGreaseMonkey



Category: Emmerdale, robron
Genre: M/M, Mention of scars, Self Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-22
Updated: 2016-01-22
Packaged: 2018-05-15 13:23:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5786707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DirtyLilGreaseMonkey/pseuds/DirtyLilGreaseMonkey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aaron needs help and he asks the one person he didnt expect to, Robert.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Take Me Away

**Author's Note:**

> For @Flawswelove on tumblr
> 
> Prompt (well two prompt really)  
> Aaron can’t deal with everything and knows he can talk to Robert. Every time Aaron and Robert try to spend time together they get interrupted. Aaron asks Robert if they can go away for a few days, just them. They have separate rooms but in the same cabin, so they can play Xbox and chill. One night Aaron asks Robert if he can sleep with him in his bed Robert is taken aback but Aaron makes it clear he just wants to feel close to Robert. Aaron needs to keep his cuts clean and the hospital told him to change his dressings. He asks Robert to help him because it’s tricky to do on his own. As Roberts gets the dressing ready Aarons goes to take his top off but becomes suddenly worried to show Robert his cuts. Robert just looks at Aaron and can see what’s going on in his head so Robert pulls his own shirt off and shows Aaron his scars from the operation he had after being shot, Aaron just looks down and runs his finger along the red line on Roberts chest. Aaron then takes his top off and sits down letting Robert tend to his wounds.
> 
> I started this before last nights devastating episode so there is no mention of what Gordon actually did to Aaron or the cut on his arm. 
> 
> I hope Robert does stand by Aaron like we all so desperately want! Remember please don't read if you find this SL triggering in anyway! 
> 
> Keep safe Robronites!! <3

*WARNING* THIS STORY CONTAINS MENTIONS OF SELF HARM AND SCARS! PLEASE SO NOT READ FURTHER IF YOU FIND THIS A TRIGGER!

  
Aaron was quiet as Robert drove back into Emmerdale. He hadn’t said much at all since leaving the hospital just enough to ask if Robert had the dressing the nurse had given him and that was it. Aaron didn’t know why he’d called Robert he just knew he’d come if he asked and he hoped he knew him well enough to know he wouldn’t judge him for his self-harm like a lot of other people did. Yes there had been that one time at Bar West but they were still getting to know each other back then. Now especially after everything they’d been through Robert knew more than anyone what it was like to be inside Aarons head. He could still recall Roberts voice as he told him he was the only one who understood what he was going through and he’d been right although this time he wasn’t so sure Robert would understand but he still came when Aaron had asked and that meant something, at least it did to Aaron.

Robert never expected the call but went willingly as soon as Aaron asked because if Aaron was asking him of all people it must be serious. They hadn’t spoken in a while, Aaron keeping him at arm’s length despite his best efforts but he’d noticed something wasn’t right when he’d seen Aaron out running last week, his thoughts immediately turning back to last April when things had gotten out of control. He’d noticed as soon as he’d seen him in stark light of the hospital room he wasn’t well, his skin usually pinkish in colour was now tinged grey a result of the infection he’d been told. When his eyes weren’t red from the tears Robert had noticed the dark circles underneath them indicating Aaron wasn’t sleeping. Even as he looked at him now his head against the window his clothes that normally hugged his body in all the right places hung from his diminished frame. He sighed to himself and made a mental note to make sure Aaron was eating properly.

“Where'd ya wanna be?” Robert asked softly not wanting to disturb him if he was sleeping but they were getting closer to the village and he wasn’t sure where Aaron wanted to go.

Aaron thought about Paddys briefly but just the thought of having to keep up the pretence in front of Rhona all day exhausted him and they had Leo to think about.

“Home I suppose,” Aaron sighed.

“You sure I could always ask Vic....”

“Nah she's got enough on.”

“Aaron.”

“I'm fine,” Aaron lied in the hopes Robert would drop the subject which thankfully he did.

Robert knew Aaron was lying but he also knew him well enough not to press the issue, selfless Aaron always thinking of others before himself, he'd called him a martyr for that once the thought making him cringe but Aaron really was selfless because in the end he was the one that ended up getting hurt directing all his anguish onto himself but not anymore not now he knew he'd started again Robert would be there for him whenever he needed him, he'd promised him once 'just find me' and even though they'd both been through hell since then it was a promise he intended to keep.

He pulled up outside the Woolpack and cut the engine, neither of them making a move to leave the other. Robert unclicked his seatbelt and shifted slightly so he was not facing Aaron, who was still staring blankly out of the window.

“You know you’re not on your own right?”

The words seem to break through Aarons haze and he slowly turned his head towards Robert but Robert hadn't finished.

“Whatever you need Aaron a confidant, friend, a running partner…”

Aaron cringed at his words how was it Robert knew him so well even now but he shook his head, the running had stopped helping a while ago.

“A punching bag,” Robert held up his hand as if knew Aaron would interrupt,

“Expect he face yeah, let's leave the face.”

Aaron snorted the vibration causing him to clutch his stomach as a stab of pain shot through his abdomen.

“Shit sorry,” Robert reached out but pulled back not knowing if Aaron wanted his touch.

“Tis kay,” Aaron hissed through the agony.

“What I’m trying to say is that I care about ya Aaron and I can't..........just find me yeh?”

Aaron looked at the man bedside him, the honesty and worry creased on his forehead, his jaw clenched with his unspoken words a man up until a few hours ago he'd convinced himself he hated, had told him often enough yet he still came when Aaron had needed him. A man so willing to be there for him even now. He closed his eyes and exhaled slowly breathing through the pain. When he turned to face Robert again he flinched slightly as Robert leant towards him his eyes automatically falling to his lips before he screwed his eyes shut tightly and just when he'd accepted that he was about to taste Roberts lips on his strangely at ease with the idea he heard the click of his seatbelt expecting to feel a wince as the heavy nylon retracted across his skin instead he felt nothing. Robert hesitated as he saw Aaron recoil from him the action causing his heart to break all over again but he knew it was a reaction to the touch and not him so he tried not to dwell on it too much as he guided the belt over Aarons shoulder.

Opening his eyes Aaron saw Robert direct the belt away from his stomach up and over his shoulder; he was so close Aaron could smell the sweet peppermint on his breath and for the first time in a long time Aarons heart started to race not from fear or anger but from something else something more hopeful.

“S’pose I best…..” Aaron gestured out the window.

“I meant it Aaron, find me.”

Aaron nodded and climbed out the car as fast as his failing body allowed him too before his tears began to fall.

It was late when he walked into the back room of the pub and thankfully no one was around. He hated to think were his mum was because that meant thinking of him and he couldn’t do that not without some form of release. As he headed up to bed knowing he wouldn’t sleep he dug his phone out of his pocket and found Roberts name. Just the thought of his former lover somehow eased his anxious mind. He sent a quick message and lay fully clothed on his bed.

 

> A: Thanks for today

As Robert laid he head back on the pillow knowing he was far from tired he grabbed his phone and with his eyes squinting at the brightness in the darken room typed out a quick reply,

 

> R: Anytime x

He hadn’t meant to add the kiss at the end of the message but he didn’t regret it.

Aaron felt his phone buzz next to him and gingerly reached it knowing it was Robert. The kiss at the end of it sent his heart into an unexpected flurry and just when he thought about deleting it another message came through causing his heart to ache along with the rest of his body.

 

> R: I’m glad you’re okay

Aaron replied with,

 

> A: Me too

Not entirely sure he meant it but wanting to reassure Robert all the same.

…

The following morning when his mum began pecking his head at where he’d been he knew he needed to talk to someone the guilt of lying to her becoming too much to bear, his thoughts immediately replaying the words Robert had said in the car the day before.

 

> A: Did you mean what you said yesterday?
> 
> R: Every word.
> 
> A: Can you talk?
> 
> R: I'll be there in 10

In fact it was more like five when Robert burst through the door of the Woolpack only to be greeted by Chas' brief disapproving stare before her attention returned to her son. Aaron was stood at the end of the bar as Robert pushed through the door pausing slightly at the sight of him.

Chas tutted at the commotion as Robert swung the door open not noticing how Aaron seemed to relax slightly at the sight of the tall blonde, just having him there in the same room made him feel a little better knowing he meant what he'd said and he wasn't alone.

Just his presence put him at ease, knowing that if he needed him he would swoop in and save him, something he’d of never expected from Robert but somehow he knew he would and as soon as his mums back was turned Aaron mouthed

“I’m sorry,” earning him concerned look in return.

Robert couldn’t hear what Chas was saying but by the look on Aarons face it wasn’t good. He needed to get him out of there and fast but how?

“You okay?” Vic asked when she came through from the back and saw her brother staring at Aaron,

“What’s going on with you two?”

“Nothing,” Robert coughed before asking,

“You working all day?” an idea forming in his head.

“Yeah some of us need to work ya know,” Vic shook her head adding,

“Why?”

“Just showing an interest,” Robert beamed and Vic knew he was up to something.

“Yeah right,” Vic scoffed.

“And Adam?” Robert enquired.

“Out with Johnny.”

“Good,” Robert smiled to himself.

“What is with you today?” Vic asked not waiting for a reply before heading back to the kitchen.

Robert hated to leave him especially when he knew Aaron needed to talk but what could he do, there was no way Chas was letting him get anywhere near Aaron. He dug his phone out of his suit pocket and typed off a quick text. Looking up he caught Aarons eye nodded in his direction to let him know the message was for him.

Aaron grabbed his phone before his mum could see who it was. He read the message and felt the hot tears prickle at the back of his eyes. He looked up at Robert giving him a sad smile and once again mouthed across the room,

“Thank you.”

Robert returned the smile and left knowing Aaron would soon follow.

“Who you staring at?” Chas asked when she saw Aarons gaze and looked over her shoulder but thankfully Robert was already gone.

…

“Who's that?” Robert panicked as he heard the rattle of the front door, he'd told Aaron they'd be alone all afternoon.

“Charming,” Vic said as he pushed through the front door,

“I do live here ya know.”

“Yeah course sorry,” Robert muttered shaking his head,

“You said you were working that's all.”

“Pubs slow so Marlon gave me to afternoon off.”

“Oh,” Roberts face fell,

“Erm well why don't you put your feet up and I'll make ya a brew yeah?”

“Really?” Vic eyed him suspiciously.

“What I can't do something nice for ya?”

“Carry on,” Vic shooed him away as she sank into the sofa.

Robert was already reaching for his phone when he heard to light tap on the door shouting,

“I’ll get it,” before Vic could answer.

He opened the door to Aaron already apologising,

“Aaron I'm so sorry she said she'd be at work.”

“Who?” he asked noticed worry across Roberts face.

With that he heard Vics voice call his name,

“Aaron what you doing here?”

“Just erm Adam around?” he stammered shoving his hands deep in his pocket the action causing him to wince and Roberts inhaled sharply before covering up his reaction with a weak attempt at a cough.

“No he's got Johnny today he told ya this morning dint he?” Vic reminded him giving Robert a puzzled look.

“Yeh course.”

“I was just putting kettle on if ya fancy stopping for a brew,” Robert interrupted before Vic could ask any more questions his eyes pleading with Aaron to stay.

“With you no thanks,” Aaron scoffed for Vics benefit hoping Robert knew he didn't mean it before turning slowly and walking away.

“He alright?” Vic asked Robert expecting him to know just by looking at his former lover.

“What do I care?” Robert answered gruffly his eyes never leaving the back of Aarons head the slump of his shoulders made Roberts blood run cold he knew Aaron didn't mean his harsh tone but it still struck Robert hard and he needed to know Aaron wouldn't do something stupid so before he could change his mind he grabbed his jacket and ran out after him.

“Aaron wait,” Robert called as he ran across the village to catch up with him.

“I'm sorry,” he huffed from the short sprint his physical fitness had seriously dropped since the shooting.

“Guess it wasn't such a good idea,” Aaron grumbled all he wanted to do was talk to Robert about anything and everything but they just couldn't catch a break it hadn't been this hard to spend time together before had it.

“Don't be like that I'm sorry she said she was working.”

“Just forget it,” Aaron said sadly turning to catch Roberts eyes as he got to the back door of the pub.

“No Aaron I won't I said I'd be here for you and I meant it. What ya doing tonight? Fancy a pint?”

“What in ere?!?”

“Why not? We could just say we are discussing business,” Robert shrugged his eyes boring into Aarons pleading with him once again.

“If you want,” Robert added suddenly aware of his staring.

“S’pose,” Aaron agreed even if he couldn't talk about what he wanted just being with Robert would be enough for now.

“Say 7?”

“Fine.”

“I meant it Aaron,” Robert said his tone softening as he spoke.

“I know,” Aaron breathed and headed inside leaving Robert to spin around on the balls of his feet, his mind reeling about the fact he had a date with Aaron.

“Not a date Sugden,” he muttered to himself but his heart didn't get the message as it started to pound inside his chest and not from over exertion his time.

…

Robert gave himself one last look in the mirror; it was the first time in a long time he’d dressed with someone else in mind, not just someone, Aaron. He’d chosen the blue sweatshirt that he knew Aaron liked and repeated for the tenth time,

“It’s not a date.”

Running a hand through his hair for the umpteenth time since arranging to meet Aaron he headed down the stairs only to be bombarded by his sister.

“You’re dressed,” Vic squealed as he saw Robert coming down the stairs dressed to impress.

“Erm I should hope so.”

“No…yeah…I…mean you look nice.”

“Thanks,” Robert perplexed at his sister astonishment.

“Going anywhere nice?” Vic enquired.

“Just the pub,” Robert shrugged and grabbed his leather jacket and was out the door before she could ask any more.

With his heart in his mouth he made his way over to the Woolpack, a journey he’d taken a hundred times before but this one felt different it felt right because he was finally making his way back to Aaron. He expected Aaron to be sat at the end of bar like he had been earlier that day instead as he pushed through the double doors his face fell, Aaron was behind the bar pulling pints.

“Aaron,” Robert hissed as his hand ran through his hair once again,

“You can’t,” pointing to his injured stomach.

“Shhh Robert okay, I’m fine,” Aaron insisted, he could feel the smile tug at the corner of his mouth from the state of Roberts hair, the man was clearly stressed.

“Well I’m not leaving,” Robert declared folding his arms across his chest in disapproval.

“Didn’t ask you too,” Aaron replied easing some of the tension in Roberts jaw.

“Where’s everyone?” Robert cried.

“Doug’s changing a barrel, Marlon is in the kitchen you know were Vic is and Diane’s got an appointment,” Aaron offered in between customers.

“And Chas?” Robert asked.

Aaron stared blankly at Robert he didn’t want to tell him where is mum was, he didn’t even want to think about it because then he’d have to think about who she was with and he wasn’t ready for that.

“Aaron,” Robert called waving a hand in front of his face.

Roberts voice pulled him out of his daze and he shook his head and Robert was already taking his jacket off and laying it on the bar.

“Sit down will ya?” Aaron protested as Robert stepped behind the bar, the last thing he needed was for him mum to come back and see them working together although he did feel a lot calmer just by the fact Robert was stood next to him.

“You shouldn't be doing this.”

“Stop fussing I'm fine.”

“Aaron,” Robert chastised knowing full well he was anything but fine.

“Not fine fine but fine okay?”

With that Aaron bend forward to retrieve a crate of glasses that needed to be put away the edge of the crate hitting his stomach causing him to wince he tried his best to hide the pain but Robert had seen.

“Just let me help,” Robert seethed taking the plastic tray out of his hands.

“And then we can talk yeah?”

“Not here,” Aaron muttered as Doug reappeared.

“Robert,” Doug boomed,

“What you doing ere?”

“Aaron,” Robert whispered ignoring the older man he hoisted the crate he’d taken from Aaron up and balancing it on his stomach.

“Please Robert,” Aaron begged.

“Okay but where?” Robert let out a puff of air, the crate was heavier than it looked.

Aarons eyes wandered to the double doors at the back of the pub that lead out to the bathrooms. Roberts gaze followed Aarons and he knew where Aaron meant it was the closest thing they had to their own spot if you discounted the staircase.

“Five minutes.”

Aaron nodded.

Despite everything Aaron smiled weakly at the irony as five minutes later they were back in the men’s toilets in the woolpack, a place that held so many memories for the two of them and it was also the only place where they’d been alone all day. Now it was just the two of them Aaron felt like he could breathe properly for the first time in hours. He exhaled sharply the sound immediately dragging Roberts eyes to him.

“Take me away,” Aaron muttered under his breath.

“Aaron,” Robert breathed stepping closer but not touching him he hadn’t forgotten how Aaron had flinched away from him in the car a yesterday and he didn’t want to touch him uninvited.

“Somewhere anyway just us please,” Aaron pleaded his voice becoming horse from his unshed tears.

“I can’t do it anymore Robert I need……..”

“Whatever you need Aaron, I told you and I meant it I’m here for you.”

“Then get me out of here.”

“Like we used to?” Robert smiled briefly but kicked himself because that’s not what he’d meant,

“Sorry, no not like that well yeah but….”

Aaron offered him a sad smile knowing exactly what he was trying to say.

“Thanks.”

“Give me an hour,” Robert instructed already pulling out his phone to make arrangements.

Watching Robert leave Aaron wander what the hell he was doing for a brief moment before sighing, because Somehow even after everything he'd put him through, he felt safe with Robert and that's what he needed right now.

…

He was sat in his darkened room when an hour later just like Robert had said his phone buzzed.

 

> R: I'm outside

He breathed a sigh of relief and getting up slowly clutching his stomach he grabbed his backpack and headed out the door. He didn’t even bother to ask where Robert was taking him as they left the village part of him didn’t really care as long as he was away from everything. They drove for an hour Aaron watched as the sun set across the fields marking the end of his first day in weeks where he hadn’t needed to hurt himself.

As if Robert could read his mind he asked tentatively his eyes fixed on the road ahead his knuckles turning white as he gripped the steering wheel dreading Aarons answer,

“Aaron you haven’t……”

Sometimes Aaron forgot Robert knew he better than anyone else just as he knew him the way no one else did,

“Not today it hurts enough.”

“Good…no…not good….” Robert eyes flashed briefly to Aarons before returning to the road,

“I mean……I’m glad you haven’t not that you’re in pain…I can’t stand that.”

“Oh,” was all Aaron managed in return leaning his forehead against the cool glass of the window he closed his eyes and let the cold wash away the confusion he felt at Roberts words.

Although he could feel Roberts eyes on him every few minutes he stayed like that until Robert whispered,

“We’re here.”

Robert carried their things inside leaving Aaron to make his own way in to the cabin.

“You amaze me,” Aaron marvelled as he looked around the beautiful log cabin.

“Eh?” Robert panted carrying the luggage had left him breathless.

“How did you get this place so fast?”

Robert looked down in embarrassment; he didn’t want to tell Aaron he’d had this place on standby for months just in case Aaron ever forgave him.

“Erm…” Robert cleared his throat as his eyes caught Aarons trying to say with his gaze what he couldn’t out loud.

Aaron just nodded Roberts look said it all he knew it had been meant from them a different version of them but them all the same.

Robert made his way to the kitchen and pulled open the fridge door praying silently that all his instructions had been followed.

“Thanks.”

“What for?”

“This,” Aaron said indicating the beer Robert had just handed him before looking around the room,

“And this....” then casting his gaze down to his hands, his thumb playing with the already curling label of bottle and with barely a whisper he added,

“You.”

Robert fought hard to hid the smile that was dancing across his lips by clearing is throat before he replied,

“Whatever you need remember?”

Robert let his words sink in before he asked,

“What do you need?”

Aaron shrugged.

“Food?”

“I’m not….” Aaron started before Robert interrupted him.

“Aaron,” Robert chastised he knew the young man wouldn’t have eaten all day so he set about preparing them something to eat, nothing fancy, just a few sandwiches and some nibbles.

He set the food down in front of Aaron along with another beer and he watched as Aaron devoured a whole ham sandwich and went back for seconds.

“Mate you’re starting to creep me out,” Aaron muttered his mouth full of bread when he realised Robert had been staring at him.

“Sorry just making sure you eat,” Robert mumbled.

“What about you?” Aaron offered him his half eaten sandwich.

“I’m good thanks,” Robert declined,

“Besides I’m taking care of you remember.”

The adoration in Roberts voice made Aaron forgot about his hunger instead he began chewing on his own lip and knowing that this place had been meant for them just made his head hurt.

Robert noticed the change and asked,

“You okay?”

“Just headache,” Aaron insisted like it was nothing.

“Well we have everything you need here, enough for a few days at least.”

“Robert I…..”

“You don’t have to say anything,” Robert clasped his hands together because the need to reach out and touch Aaron in some way was becoming overwhelming.

“I meant what I said I…….”

“Don’t,” Aaron panicked at what Roberts next words would be he couldn’t handle a declaration right now.

“Aaron I…….”

“I don’t need that right now Robert please..I just…need you to….listen.”

“Whatever you need,” Robert nodded and noticing the fatigue take hold of Aaron like a wave braking on the shore he said,

“Which I think is bed.”

“Robert!”

“Sleep Aaron you look exhausted.”

“I could say the same to you,” Aaron said with a lopsided smile and draining the rest of his beer with a little helping hand from Robert he dragged himself up out of the sofa and towards some much needed rest.

“Erm…..” Aaron started not sure he was ready to share a bed with Robert again although he’d admit the thought of being held by him wasn’t unpleasant.

“Two rooms you’re on the left.”

Aaron breathed a sigh of relief which didn’t go unnoticed.

“I’ll just be in the room next door if you need anything okay,” Robert said sadly he didn’t want to leave Aaron alone but knew he needed to rest.

“Okay and Robert,” Aaron turned around,

“Thanks.”

“Don’t mention it.”

Robert left Aaron to get settled and cleared the pots from the living room busying himself so the worry wouldn’t take over just yet. When everything was clear and not hearing anything else from Aaron he went to his own room and laid fully clothed on the bed. He too was exhausted but he knew sleep wouldn’t come. While his ears strained to hear even the most minute noise from the room next door his eyes focused on the ceiling above him counting the grains in the wooden beams anything to keep occupied so he didn't march right into Aarons room and curl up next to him. Just when he thought about shutting his eyes he heard it, first the cry and then faint sound of sobbing coming through the wall. He sat up immediately before knowing what to do. Should he check on him? That's why he'd been unable to sleep wasn't it, too worried about the boy in the next room. Should he just pretend he hadn't heard and leave Aaron too it but the thought of what Aaron might to set his heart racing and he couldn't just leave him especially when he'd promised to be there for him. He swung his feet out of bed relishing the feel of the cool floor against his warm skin as he made his way into the hall. He couldn't just burst through the door without an excuse he knew Aaron needed his privacy; he’d witnessed enough of Aarons nightmares, just like Aaron had his, to know that he needed a few minutes alone to recover after waking but he still had to check on him all the same so he decided to make a drink first. He flicked the kettle on and stood staring at the little orange light as he tried not let his imagination run away with want he might find when he opened Aarons door. The hissing from the boiling water seemed to pull him out of his head and he set about making Aaron a drink.

He juggled the drinks in one hand as his knuckles lightly rasped the door separating him from Aaron. He didn't wait for an answer as he gently elbowed the door open, the sight of Aaron lying with his back to the door, his body still shaking from the sobs breaks Roberts heart and he can feel his own eyes fill with tears.

“Rob?” Aaron croaked.

“Just checking in,” Robert whispered from the door the light from the hallway steaming through around him and as Aaron turned to look at him he felt himself relax at the sight.

The light shining off his golden hair gave him an angelic glow and Aaron knew in that moment that Robert would save him.

Robert silently entered the room and placed the three mugs on the bedside table before sitting at the foot of the bed. Aaron winced as he turned to face him fully Roberts heart swelling at his puffy bloodshot eyes and he had to physically restrain himself from reaching out to comfort his lost broken boy.

“Three cups we expecting company?” Aaron laughed humourlessly wiping his tears away with the back of his sleeve trying to ease the tension he saw in Roberts jaw.

“I didn't know what you'd want it being the middle of the night and all,” Robert offered feebly.

“So there is tea and coffee.”

“Cheers.”

“You wanna talk about it?” Robert asked after the silent became unbearable.

“I’m….not ready.”

“Okay, okay.”

“But….”

“What is it Aaron?”

“Will you……..just until I fall asleep,” Aaron asked weakly.

“Of course.”

Robert crawled up the bed laid down behind Aaron desperate to offer him the comfort he needed, so just like he’d down a few times before when he’d been with Aaron after his nightmares he placed his right hand flat on Aarons back, the flinch Aaron gave from his touch ripping his insides apart and he vowed to himself he would kill whoever did this to Aaron even if it was Robert himself. He kept his hand still until Aaron began to relax under it and when he felt the tension across his shoulder ease his began moving it in slow circles up and down his back. When he’d done this in the past there had been no barrier like today the cotton of Aarons t shirt felt foreign under his fingertips but if this was what Aaron needed than he’d gladly give him it. He repeated the motion over and over again until he heard Aarons breathing become shallow and knew he’d fallen back to sleep. He kept his hand on Aaron for longer than he should not wanting to break the small connection he felt but knew that was selfish and with a deep breath he slowly retracted his hand and left Aaron to rest returning to the other side of the wall sleep the furthest thing from his mind.

…

When the light began to shine through the gap in the curtains Robert thought about getting up, he’d managed an hour of sleep if that, his mind to preoccupied by the boy on the other side of the wall. He pushed himself up to a sitting position and hearing movement from Aaron he changed as quickly as his body would allow and went to find his former lover.

“You look like I feel,” Aaron said in greeting.

“Didn't get much sleep,” Robert mumbled.

 _“Too busy worrying about you,”_ he added in his head afraid to say the words out loud.

“Yeah sorry about that………………erm………..”

“Spit it out.”

“Can.....do you think......nev'mind.”

“If you’re sure,” Robert shrugged he knew it was better to let Aaron ask in his own time, he’d pushed before with volatile consequences.

Aaron wanted to ask if they could spend that night together, even with Roberts body curled around him making him almost too hot to sleep he still managed to find peace on those nights they spent together like he had done briefly last night, Roberts soothing hand giving him the comfort he craved. Instead he asked,

“Real or Barca?”

To which a sleep deprived Robert replied,

“Eh?”

“Here,” Aaron offered him the game pad using the one already in his hand to point at the screen,

“FIFA.”

“Oh sure,” Robert nodding in understanding before looking down at the controller.

“How?” he glanced at Aaron holding the pad up waiting for Aaron to explain.

“We've play before.”

“Xbox remember.”

“Oh,” Aaron exhaled a flash of a memory appearing before his eyes, the pair of them laughing and joking on the sofa at home farm. He pushed the image away his body was already aching enough without his heart joining in.

“Well it's pretty similar,” he said scooting closer to Robert and showing him on the of he was holding.

“Attack so x is pass, circle is to shoot the triangle to pass through and the square is to cross, got it?”

Robert nodded enjoying watching Aaron be so animated about something.

“But what you need is defence,” said Aaron with a small laugh.

“Oh really?” Robert smiled the sound of Aarons laugh however small made his heart soar and he wanted to hear it again.

“Teach me wise one,” Robert placed his hand together in a small bow and he was rewarded with another little chuckle.

“So defence is pretty easy even for you,” Aaron joked.

“X is to hold, circle is a tackle, the triangle is for the goalie and the square is a sliding tackle.”

“Got it,” Robert nodded.

They willed a good few hours away sat side by side on the sofa Aarons eyes never leaving the screen but Robert wasn't paying that much attention his eyes flitting towards Aaron at every opportunity just to check on him. It was good to see him so relaxed but Robert couldn't help the questions that had been circling his mind for days. He thought he knew everything about the man sat next to him but there was obviously something he was holding back the only thing Robert could think of was it had something to do with the reappearance of his dad. He buried his questions instead breaking the game to fetch them tea and biscuits before once again emerging himself in his what had become his favourite pastime, Aaron watching.

After a particularly vigorous game Robert noticed a darken patch on Aarons t shirt of what he could only assume was blood seeping through and he questioned,

“When did you last change your dressings?” nodding to Aarons stomach.

“Oh erm I haven’t.”

“Aaron! The nurse said every day or the infection could get worse,” Robert groaned.

“I tried yesterday but it’s too hard on me own.”

“Fine,” Robert huffed and went in search of the first aid kit.

When he returned he found Aaron in his room.

“What ya doing in here?” Robert asked dropping the fresh dressing on the bed, Aaron didn't want to tell him he was hiding so he didn't say anything as he stared at his reflection, hating what he saw.

“Hey,” Robert said softly closing the gap between them and hesitantly bringing his hand up to rest on Aarons shoulder turning him around.

“Let’s take a look shall we?” Robert prompted his eyes trailing down Aaron chest to the blood on his shirt.

“I don’t…………I can’t…..” Aaron choked pulling the hem of his t shirt down as if to emphasise his words.

“Aaron please we need to clean you up.”

“You don’t understand,” Aaron cried his hands beginning to shake.

“I've seen.....” Robert started before he realised he hadn't seen them all had he because the reason they were there in the first place was because of the fresh open wounds that now spread across his stomach.

“It’s okay,” Robert reassured him and with a deep breath he decided he should go first.

“Here,” he breathed as began to unbutton his shirt.

“What...what are you doing?” Aaron questioned as he watched Roberts hands.

“I'll show you mine if you show me yours?” Robert laughed sadly in the hopes of easing some of Aarons discomfort.

Robert closed his eyes as he dropped his shirt to the floor this was the first time he’d shown anyone what lay beneath his clothes and he didn’t know how Aaron would react to the intimacy of it all. When Aaron hadn’t said anything he slowly opened his eyes to see Aaron staring at his chest.

“Does it……………..does it hurt?” Aaron asked softly reaching out as Roberts breath hitched at his touch.

Not trusting his voice to betray him he just shook his head and closed his eyes to absorb the fact that Aaron was actually touching him he whispered,

“Not anymore,” not sure if he was answering Aarons question or if it was his internal response to Aarons fingertips on his chest.

Aaron traced the star shaped scar and dragged his finger along the longer shiny red mark underneath it, it was clean straight and obviously a result of the surgery Robert had had after the shooting. His heart was beating rapidly not sure if it was from the feel of Roberts warm flesh or the fact he was about to reveal the full extent of his wounds.

Aaron dropped his hand much to Roberts disappointment and gingerly began to remove his own shirt. He managed to get it half way up before he needed Roberts help. He felt his smooth hands on the arms and whatever worry he had about exposing himself diminished slightly knowing how much it had taken Robert to show him his own battle scars.

He couldn’t bear to watch the disappointment on Roberts face so he turned away as Robert pulled his shirt over his head. Tears began to fall from his eyes as Robert inhaled sharply at the sight of before him. Robert had expected the cuts to his stomach but there were several smaller cuts to his upper torso.

“Aaron,” Robert choked out as he directed him towards the bed.

“Don’t,” Aaron sobbed chewing to the inside of his mouth.

Robert fought back his own tears as he set about tending to Aarons fresh wounds. He tried to be gentle but there was no easy way to remove the old dressing so in the end he went of the good old quick and painless route, peeling the corner of the sticky fabric and pulling sharp and fast.

Aaron hissed as he felt Roberts fingernail graze his skin and tried not to think of all the times he'd welcomed the same feeling, those long manicured fingers dragging along his chest, his back, his thighs leaving his own mark however temporary. He cried out as Robert ripped the dressing off.

“Sorry,” Robert mumbled.

As Aaron trembled beneath his touch Robert finally looked up to meet his eyes and saw the deepest scar of all staring back at him, a scar that mirrored the one along Roberts soul. It wasn't something he could see but he could feel it in the beat of his heart, in the way he stared back without really seeing, stamped across his heart was the pain he'd gone through in his life and Robert wished he'd known Aaron back when things had started to get bad so he could have kissed them all away because no matter how big or how small visible or invisible every scar told a part of Aarons painful history and for that Robert had to admire the fact he was still here, still fighting.

“Why are you crying?” Aaron breathed shakily when he saw the tears falling down Roberts cheeks.

“I'm not,” Robert denied wiping away his silent tears with the back of his hand busying himself changing the dressing, pressing the new on in place firmly.

When he was done instead of removing his hands like he knew he should he began to trace the older silvery marks across Aarons stomach his fingertips brushing against the marked skin. Aaron closed his eyes to the touch but didn't stop Roberts hands roaming over him.

“You’re beautiful.”

Robert hadn't realised he'd said the words out loud until he felt the sob escape Aarons chest beneath him.

“Don't.”

Roberts movements halted but he didn't remove his hands completely instead he allowed his right hand to trail up towards the new wounds making Aaron shiver before he reached up and used his thumb to wipe away the tears now falling from Aarons eyes matching his own.

“You are…..” Robert whispered,

“Inside,” he breathed out placing his left hand flat on his chest over his heart,

“And out,” caressing his cheek.

Aaron opened his eyes to see Roberts blue eyes staring at him, there was so much he wanted to say but didn’t know how.

“I....”

“Shh,” Robert stroked his face.

“Don't leave me,” Aaron sobbed as he collapsed into Roberts bare chest.

“I'm not going anywhere,” Robert soothed running his hands up and down Aarons back.

When the sobbing had subsided Aaron pulled back and whispered,

“Stay with me.”

“Always,” Robert replied and enveloped his arms around Aaron careful not to hurt him he laid them and pulled him in close Aaron back to his chest.

“I'll be here when you wake up and maybe then you can tell me what's going on yeah?” Robert said after a while.

They both slept after that, emotionally and physically drained, exhaustion taking over but a few hours later Aaron awoke, Roberts arms still slumped across his shoulder and just like the first night they'd spent together he smiled shyly and snuggled back in knowing it was okay to close his eyes because Robert was there to keep the nightmares at bay. He relished in the warmth Robert body next to his provided he closed his eyes once again thankful for the man who even after everything was still laid next to him.

As the light streamed through the window the next morning and Robert began to wake, he realised Aaron was still in his arms and he allowed himself to be selfish and enjoy the blissful feeling of his arms around Aaron in that moment before he regained full consciousness. He stretched out causing Aaron to groan slightly before he registered what he body was doing pressed up against Aaron.

“Sorry,” Robert muttered as he reluctantly slid he arm away from Aaron and turned to stare up at the ceiling.

“For what?” Aaron grumbled still half a sleep but not asleep enough to not have felt what Robert was apologising for.

Despite his injuries he turned slowly so could face him lifting the covers to show Robert his corresponding hardness.

“Guess it's just us,” Aaron chuckled lightly dragging his teeth along his bottom lip, the sound making Roberts earlier smile reappear.

“Guess so,” Robert sighed and in that moment Roberts lips ached to press against Aarons for his teeth to be the ones biting on the plump flesh because without even looking he knew that Aaron would be gnawing on his bottom lip his face flushed slightly. He wanted to kiss Aaron so badly but at the same time he didn't want to ruin what they had built on yesterday what they were building on right now if and it was a big if, but if by so miracle Aaron gave him another chance he didn't want to rush things so instead of closing the gap between them like his body wanted him to do to whisper sweet nothings in his ear and tell him he loved him, he slid his arm around his shoulders and pulled him closer. Aaron willing let himself be pulled into Roberts side, his head coming to rest on Roberts chest. Even though there bodies both clearly wanted more they were happy enough to just be in that moment.

Together.

 


End file.
